Personal Endorsement: Nita M.

Dear Future Representative Tevis,

I just made the token donation because I’m a stay-at-home mom in a floundering economy, we’re *almost* upside down on our house but holding on, I won’t feed my kid chemicals and so, we’re kind of broke. So. Yeah. Otherwise I would totally spring for the video from your mom because that just plain rocks.

I would vote for you because:

1) Your beliefs are right on target.

2) You’re very handsome. Good looks + name recognition = future president and maybe you’ll employ me to work from home and give me benefits. Also, maybe you’ll give me an education post in your cabinet because I’ve worked with lots of kids and I have really great ideas.

3) Lastly, and most importantly, because we need people who are entering politics because they actually give a fat rat’s a—. Someone has to change a system of “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch your a—” and that someone has to come from inside. You’ve inspired me to send money and I like that about you.

Seems like a lot of people believe in you. Go do some good. Totally frustrating, you might not make much headway and it might take you a ridiculous amount of time to not make that headway, but stay true to your bad cynical self. It’s the only thing that I can think of that may make a difference.

Rah, rah, rah!
Nita M.

P.S. Watch yourself or you’re gonna end up a campaign consultant.